


You're My Nerd

by NobodyOfficial



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Angst, Because he's cool, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, They play football, Tumblr Prompt, everyone's a massive nerd, in relationships but everyone is jealous of Arnold too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: Tumblr prompt: 'You're my nerd' with McPricely and Churchtarts (and some added Arnaba and Neeley having a crush on Gotswana's eldest kid. It's ok, they're at uni).~In an attempt to make the rules a little more lax, Connor instructs the elders to spend the day with someone other than their mission companions. James and Chris have a serious talk about what scares them most. Connor attempts to flirt with Kevin using advice he got from Arnold (who got a girlfriend by making up a religion!) And Arnold takes Neeley in to the village to play a game of [british] football where someone catches his eye.





	You're My Nerd

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for (mostly canon stuff):  
> -family death  
> -domestic abuse  
> -very vague, unimportant, and unabided by mention of homophobia 
> 
> Ok, let's be honest here some of you are only reading for your fave ships so: there's an intro and a conclusion but the section after the first lil ~ is Churchtarts, the second is mcpricely and the third is arnaba + Neeley having a crush.

All the elders were gathered in the common area, on the command of their district leader. Once Connor had realised they'd all be staying in Uganda for the next few years he seemed eager for everyone to get to know each other better, allowing the elders to call each other by their first names and organising events with the Ugandans, but now it seemed he had a new announcement to make. Kevin watched him contentedly. He liked the new, more relaxed, comfortable-with-his-sexuality Connor. He'd liked the old Connor too, but now he was just so much happier and more eager to talk to Kevin.

Still, he waited for absolute silence before he began.

"Alright elders!" If they hadn't been silent before they certainly were now. Connor's words were bright but sharp, commanding. "As you know I've been-" he tugged at his collar, "Slackening the rules lately, and encouraging people to make new friends." The elders nodded in agreement, smiling across the room at those they'd become close to. Chris winked shyly at James. "But rule 72 makes that kind of hard-"

"We're not getting new mission companions!" Arnold dove across the sofa and grabbed Kevin's hand. "Are we?"

Chris clung to Connor's legs, looking up at him in despair. "Are we?"

"No, no!" Connor soothed as elders held tightly to their mission companions. "I don't have the authority to do that. And anyway," he reached down and patted Chris' curls, "I wouldn't. I just thought that, for a few days, we should spend some time with someone other than our mission companions."

Horrified gasps quickly turned to murmurs of agreement as the elders realised there was some sense in what Connor was suggesting. Connor, who had of course prepared a speech just in case they didn't see things his way, glowed with pride. Kevin thought for a moment he was smiling at him, then his eyes flicked back up to take in the whole room.

"So," Connor pulled a neatly folded piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded it, and began to read, "Arnold, you'll be with Neeley. Chris, you'll be with James..." Chris let go of Connor's legs so that he could grin widely at James. James blushed lightly, quickly looking away.

"Well, I guess that leaves me and Kevin," Connor finished casually. Kevin blinked and looked up at him, but Connor still had his attention firmly focused on the paper. Kevin continued to stare, hoping to attract Connor's attention, but he seemed to be purposefully avoiding everyone's gaze. "Ok, go spend some time together!"

As the other elders split off in pairs Kevin reached out to grab Connor's arm, but he stepped away and hurried to his room. So much for spending time together.

~

As the elders had dispersed Chris, of course, had headed to the kitchen. He rummaged in the cupboard, back to James, who just stood there quietly. He wondered what Chris had said to Connor that had made him pair them up? Did he know they were dating? They'd agreed not to tell the other elders, just in case for some reason they weren't compatible, but it had been almost two months now and they hadn't even had an argument.

"Ok, I have food, we can talk now." Chris turned around with a box of strawberry poptarts and a sunny smile. He checked to make sure Connor wasn't around then hopped up to sit on the table. James perched beside him, feet still flat on the floor.

"What is there to talk about?" James' voice was soft and calm as usual. "I think we know each other pretty well." They'd started dating as soon as they decided to stay in Uganda. Before that they'd thought it a bit risky, with the Mormon rule on homosexuality, but now they had the Book of Arnold to follow as well, and that said 'The LGBT+ community is awesome and Jesus was trans so go for it!' So they had.

"I dunno." Chris started to munch on a poptart. "We talk about nice stuff all the time." He looked over hesitantly at his boyfriend. "But there's always that stuff that we... That stuff that we..." His voice cracked.

"That stuff we pretend to joke about and say we're ok with when really it's hollowing out our insides," James finished, putting an arm around Chris. He nestled his head under his chin.

"Wanna talk about that stuff?" He asked in a small voice.

James did not want to talk about that. He wanted to carry on talking about their favourite flavour of soda or what they wanted to do in the future, but this seemed to mean a lot to Chris. They had to talk about it eventually, and he certainly wouldn't make Chris go first.

"I-" He drew in a breath through gritted teeth, steadying his nerves, "I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you. It's the last thing I'd ever want to do, and I'd never, ever do it on purpose, but that's something my dad said to my mum once and look what happened there. I never want to be like him, Chris." James looked at the floor in shame. He never had been able to stop his father from abusing his mum, so how could he trust himself not to hurt Chris?

"Oh." Chris was sad, but not afraid. He pressed himself closer to James. "That's alright, James. I trust you. And you're nothing like your father. I've never even heard you raise your voice. Please don't worry."

James was touched, but doubt still clouded his mind, as he assumed it would for the rest of his life. "Just promise me you'll be careful though," he added. "If I ever do anything you're even remotely uncomfortable with tell me, ok?"

"Don't worry, I will." He wasn't saying it for himself, he was saying it for James.

"Anything you want to talk about?" James offered. "It's ok if you don't."

"No, no," Chris reassured him. "I will. Just give me a moment." He put his poptarts down and ran a hand over his face. James waited patiently. "I-I..." His voice wavered and his eyes filled with tears before he had even begun. "I'm s-scared th-that, that everyone I love or care about wi-will die and I-I-I won't ev-even be there with them. I can't lose anyone else!" He began to sob, fistfuls of James' shirt in each hand.

James kissed him softly on the forehead. "That's not going to happen."

Chris pouted up at him. "Anyone would've said that about my sister a few years ago!"

"Alright, alright." James gently stroked his curls. "I can't promise I won't die. I can promise to stay as healthy as possible, and to get regular check ups with doctors. And if you think I'd go and die without saying goodbye to you first you're very much mistaken."

Chris giggled through his tears. "That should not be a reassuring thing to hear."

"No. It shouldn't."

"Let's go back to talking about nice things," he sniffed. "Tell me about your art."

"Well, I just got a new charcoal pencil and it's going to be great for night time landscapes. And for drawing Arnold's hair, it's usually a mess." Chris spent hours watching him draw, anything from copying pictures from Arnold's comic books to drawing unsuspecting elders while they cooked dinner. James knew he was a decent artist, but Chris always made him feel extraordinary and useful. He liked being appreciated for a practically useless talent.

"You're such an art nerd," Chris laughed, hugging James tightly.

"Am not!" He protested. "Well you... You're... You're a nerd for poptarts," he said lamely.

"It's alright." Chris patted him on the arm. "You're my nerd."

James thought he could live with that.

~

Kevin followed Connor to his room, but stopped outside the door. He was unsure if he was meant to follow Connor inside so they could hang out together, like he'd suggested, or just wait until he'd finished... What was he doing? Sulking?

Come to think of it, Connor had seemed to be sulking a lot recently. He would look at Chris and James, who were obviously a couple, then over to Kevin, then scrunch his face in to a disgruntled frown and slip away to his room. At first Kevin thought it was just because he was jealous; Connor was still settling in to his new feelings but they were already so comfortable. However it had been a few months now and Kevin was sceptical, he was beginning to suspect Connor had a crush on one of the two elders.

The idea made a small flame of anger burn in Kevin's chest, but he pushed it down. If his friend had a crush on someone he'd be nothing but supportive, even if that meant someone else getting to spend all their time with Connor... And holding Connor's hand... And kissing Connor and... Kevin was definitely not ok with Connor having a crush on someone!

He knocked lightly on the door. "Hey Con, can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure! Just a moment!" Connor called in reply.

For a while there was silence, Kevin didn't think Connor was doing anything but sitting on the bed. He was about to knock again when he heard the 'click' of Connor's footsteps and the door opened.

"Hey," Connor looked flustered and didn't seem to want to make eye contact with Kevin. He'd done something to his hair, but Kevin couldn't figure out what. It looked shinier and flatter than before. "You coming in?"

"Um, yeah." Connor's room smelt strongly of aftershave, so different from its usually comforting smell of baked goods. Although the rule about not eating in their rooms had pretty much been revoked now, Connor had always turned a blind eye to his roommate sneaking poptarts and cupcakes in after dinner. As for Arnold, he now shared his bed with several half-eaten cookies and a handful of lost skittles each night. Kevin didn't understand how he could eat so much junk, or why he'd want to (actually that probably had something to do with his dad), or how he somehow managed to stay so energetic and healthy while doing so, but he was jealous.

They sat on the beds, Connor lounging slightly on his elbow at first, then huffing in frustration and sitting up. "Are you alright?" Kevin asked. "You seem a little fidgety."

"I'm fine." Connor moved his hand mechanically across the gap between them and placed it on Kevin's thigh, blushing like a savanna sunset.

Kevin looked down at Connor's hand, lying limply on this leg, then up at the district leader. He stared defiantly back. Kevin said nothing.

"So..." Connor was hunched over now, leaning towards Kevin. He could feel his hand shaking. "Do you like roses and candles and stuff, Kevin?" He cringed and rapidly retracted his hand, clutching it to his chest.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing," Connor sighed. His hair didn't even move as he flopped back on to the bed. Kevin got up and sat beside him. "It's just, Arnold leant me these books about romance and stuff and I thought I'd try it. It's my first time flirting and plus I didn't want it to come across as too sexual, because you don't do that. I'm sorry." He covered his face and rolled on to his side, away from Kevin.

Romance. Kevin was certain he'd heard wrong. Maybe Connor was just practising on him and he really had a crush on someone else. That thought hurt, but it prompted Kevin to ask, "Do you like me?" In the silence that followed his throat grew tight and his legs weak.

"Mm." Connor rolled back over and uncovered his face, looking up at Kevin. He seemed stiff and frightened but an exhilarated look shone in his eyes. "Yes. Yes, I do like you Kevin. A lot. I was trying to make it obvious."

"By running away from me and drenching your room in axe?" Kevin knew the words were harsh as they left his mouth, so he tried to soften then with a warm smile.

Connor laughed; he seemed to have taken it well. "By playing hard to get and using scents that, apparently, trigger desire. According to Arnold."

"You took relationship advice from Arnold? He got a girlfriend by making up a religion!" It was a good religion and there were plenty of other reasons Nabulungi liked him, but the fact remained.

"I suppose," Connor chuckled. "But I wasn't going to ask Chris, every time I see him with James I just get so jealous. I feel awful about it, really, it's not their fault I couldn't confess my feelings, but they're just so happy they drive me crazy. And they're always together and Chris talks about James all the time and God are you going to tell me if you like me or not because my heart's beating far too fast to be healthy!"

"Oh." Kevin had forgotten that's what they were even talking about. When he was with Connor he felt like they were a couple anyway, though he'd never admit this to him, and it had never even crossed his mind to confirm that he liked Connor too. "I do like you," he said sincerely. "I just always assumed you liked someone else, so I tried to back off and be supportive." He smirked. "But I definitely support you liking me!"

They both laughed a little, then fell silent. Kevin didn't know what to do. Standing up and 'hugging it out' seemed too casual, but hugging Connor where he was, lying on the bed, was far too intimate. It might have been an appropriate moment for a first kiss, but Kevin was unsure of how to initiate that.

"Arnold says you're a massive nerd," Connor said suddenly, breaking in to a huge grin.

"What? That isn't true!" Kevin protested.

"He says you read his comics-"

"He asks me to read his comics!"

"And that you like them! And that after you watched Star Wars it's all you wanted to talk about for a week!"

"Hey! I was just being nice. Arnold's my best friend and it's something he's interested in!"

"And-" Connor sat up, then lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper, "He says you read all his fanfiction!"

"I'm not even going to argue there," Kevin shrugged. "Arnold's an amazing writer. And an atrocious speller, someone has to check that before he puts it online."

It wasn't a first kiss moment anymore; more of a bonding moment. More of a tuck your legs up on to the bed, smile, and giggle like you're at a sleepover kind of moment. Kevin was perfectly content with that. A first kiss could come later. And a first date. And probably lots of other firsts (he couldn't wait to watch his first Disney film with Connor). For now he was happy to have their first conversation as a couple... Even if it was about all the secrets Arnold had spilled about him.

~

Neeley already knew everything about Arnold. Everyone knew everything about Arnold; he never stopped talking. Still, Neeley was looking forward to spending the day, or perhaps the new few weeks if Connor decide this went well, with him. He knew Uganda better than any of the other elders, and he was exciting to be around.

Once Connor had left Arnold had excused himself to get changed out of his elder uniform, something he always did whenever Connor wasn't around. Neeley was perched on the steps outside the centre, to give Chris and James some privacy. Sometimes he was jealous of them; he'd never had a relationship in hignore school and after the mission he planned to go straight to work. He'd begun to wonder if he was just one of those people who never met anyone.

"Hey." Arnold stepped out beside Neeley, now dressed in a T-shirt and baggy shorts. He looked so much like an average teenager Neeley almost couldn't believe he was on a mission. While the others sweated through their hair gel Arnold had simply cropped his curls to a more manageable length. And while most of the elders (especially Connor) were beginning to get awfully sunburnt Arnold now had a suntan supermodels would be jealous of. He really was incredibly comfortable here.

Before Neeley could even say 'hey' back Arnold had jumped down the steps and was sauntering towards the village. Neeley jogged to catch up to him, very aware of how the desert sand was sticking to his shoes. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"Oh, sorry. Naba asked me to come play football with the villagers today. I think she means British football, which I suck at, but it's alright." He laughed like he'd made a hilarious joke and patted Neeley just a little too hard on the back.

"And you expect me to play football with you?" Just the thought made Neeley want to gag. Being covered in sweat and dust and mud? No thanks.

"Sure, it'll be fun. And Connor's really eager for everyone to get to know each other better, this is a great opportunity to spend some time with the villagers. They're super cool!" Arnold's gentle saunter was quickly becoming a speed-walk, but he didn't seem to notice. Neeley struggled to match his pace.

The centre wasn't far from the village, but by the time they reached it Neeley was tired. The sun was overbearing and he was sweating profusely beneath his shirt. Arnold, however, didn't seem to notice, running the last few meters to launch himself at Nabulungi. Neeley hung back, waiting until Arnold was finished saying hello and beckoned him over.

"Ok, you're on my team, that's our goal, and Kimbay's ref. Anything else?" He asked.

Neeley looked round. "Who else is on our team?"

"Gonna be honest, I don't really know. I just tackle everyone and hope they're on the opposite team." He grinned innocently. "Oh, but Nabulungi's on the other team because she thinks he can kick my ass at football... She can. But I don't mind, it's pretty hot." Arnold waved enthusiastically at Nabulungi, who giggled to someone beside her then waved back.

Neeley stared. Hard. Nabulungi's friend was cute. Really cute. Never before in his life had he had such an urge to kiss someone he didn't know. When they noticed Neeley staring they smiled and winked. His stomach did a flip.

"W-who's that?" He whispered to Arnold.

Arnold frowned up at him, then gasped and grinned so widely it looked like his face was splitting. "Do you love them?" He gasped, probably a little louder than he had meant to. Just when Neeley thought he'd matured.

"No. I don't know. I don't even know them," he replied.

"Ok, ok." Neeley didn't need to blush; Arnold was doing it for him. "That's Kenyangi. Gotswana's eldest. They left the village to go to university in town." He elbowed Neeley lightly. "They're studying business. And-" His eyes were wild and he was clinging to Neeley's shirt now, "They clean offices in their spare time to make money! Your perfect date or what?"

The game had begun now. Nabulungi and Kenyangi had disappeared to chase after the ball. Several people were shouting for them to join in. "I don't like cleaning that much," Neeley sighed.

"Yeah," Arnold rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's play. You can tackle them! Ooh! Then you can fall over with them on top of you like in a romance movie and-"

"I-I don't think I'll be doing that," Neeley interjected. The ball hit him in the shin and he jumped back in shock. "See!"

Arnold shrugged, but winked at Neeley, before attempting a lame slide tackle on Mafala that only got him covered in dirt. He got up laughing and ran after the ball. Neeley headed in the opposite direction.

Despite his best efforts to stay out of the game, Neeley couldn't help but get dragged in by the villagers' enthusiasm. By the end of the game he'd done his fair share of tackling (both his team and the opposition) and scored his share of own goals (thought not quite as many as Arnold). He'd barely interacted with Kanyangi though. Every time he approached them he became too tongue tied to speak or his legs became weak and he couldn't bring himself to tackle them. They just made his head spin. Even in the chaos of the game he found his eyes drifting to them as they tackled viciously, ran elegantly, and dribbled the ball like a professional. There was no doubt that the Ugandans were good at football, but it was a fact that Kanyangi was the best.

Hot and panting, Neeley waited while Arnold, who wasn't the slightest bit out of breath, said goodbye to his girlfriend. He turned his head to the side so that it wasn't too obvious he was staring at Kanyangi. Just as Arnold turned to leave they grabbed his arm. "Hey Arnold, tell your friend I think they're cute," they said, making sure they were definitely loud enough for Neeley to hear. "And that I'll be in the village for another couple of weeks, before I go back to town." They smiled chastely at Neeley, sweet and warm but fleeting, then headed off with Nabulungi. Arnold started to walk towards the centre.

"Man, they totally like you," Arnold grinned, bouncing along beside Neeley. If he hadn't been so covered in dirt no one would've guessed he'd just played a couple of hours of football. Neeley had put in minimum effort and he was still tired.

"How are you in such good shape?" He asked, ignoring Arnold's previous statement. "You eat crap all the time, it's not fair!" Neeley had always watched his diet carefully to make sure it was healthy and well balanced, yet somehow Arnold, who had eaten toffee popcorn for breakfast that morning, was fitter and more energetic than he'd ever been.

Arnold's eyebrows shot up so quickly he looked like a cartoon. "Me? In case you haven't noticed-" He peeled off his mud-plastered T-shirt and shook his damp curls, "I'm fat!"

"Mm." Neeley had to give him that. He was chubby and sturdily built. "But that's not, it doesn't, I don't... You're just really sporty and full of energy. And you're smart and attractive and the villagers love you and all the elders think you're cool. Everyone's really jealous of you Arnold, me included!"

For a few seconds Arnold made sounds Neeley would expect of a broken motor car, then he finally coughed out, "You're all those things too." He looked Neeley up and down. "Ok, maybe you're not cool, but you're all the other stuff! I'm a huge nerd! Why are people jealous of me?"

Neeley didn't reply, but instead just smiled. Uganda was so good for Arnold. The people here cared about him, the anxiety-ridden, panic-fuelled lifestyle didn't seem to faze him, and oh my God he didn't even have tan lines where his shirt had been, how the hell did he manage that? He was confident and comfortable, but without losing the cheery innocence that had made him so endearing in the first place. Neeley could easily imagine him staying here.

"Hey, hey, why, why?" Arnold bounced backwards in front of Neeley, desperately trying to pry a reply from him.

Neeley reached out and ruffled his hair. It was limp and sweaty. Neeley regretted doing that. "Because no matter how hard we try this will never be our home, but you've already made it yours." He cringed. That sounded like it came straight out of an eighties movie.

For the rest of the walk Arnold pestered him with questions of 'what?' and 'why?' and 'really?' but Neeley didn't say anything more. He thought he'd embarrassed himself plenty in front of Arnold today, and if he wanted to see Kanyangi again before they left he'd probably need Arnold's help with that too.

"Fine," Arnold huffed when they arrived at the centre. "I'ma take a shower."

"Alright, I'll join you in a sec," Neeley said, heading towards his room to get some clean clothes.

"Please don't... Join me in the shower," Arnold said hesitantly. "That's weird." Neeley waited. Arnold's face lit up. "Oh! You mean you'll join me in the shower room! That's cool, ok." He hurried off, blushing.

So maybe Arnold was still a bit of an idiot, but it was funny and charming, seemingly something people liked about him. Maybe he'd have to be a bit of idiot to get Kanyangi to like him. Hopefully not. Hopefully he could just be himself. But he'd see. Hopefully.

~

Connor settled the elders in the seating area, trying not to sound too authoritative when he asked them very nicely to 'shut the hell up!' Kevin was laughing at him through pursed lips, but it was an affectionate laugh, not a mean one, so he let it slide. Connor looked round at the elders, most of them smiling, Chris practically sat in James' lap. He didn't feel jealous anymore though, he felt warm inside, like fudge sauce. Clingy and sweet. Neeley looked like he'd been boiled in a lobster pot. Arnold looked like he'd spent a fortnight in Bermuda.

"So elders, how was today?" Connor asked. The centre erupted in to a cacophony of shouts. Elders yelled excitedly, hugged their mission companions, high fived their friends. Chris and James started making out, but practically everyone knew they were dating by this point. It had been a poorly kept secret. Arnold seemed to be dramatically reenacting some sort of battle. Connor paled.

"Hey guys." Kevin stood up beside Connor. "That was sort of a rhetorical question, what Connor really means is can you listen to him." The centre fell silent again. Kevin began to sit down but Connor took his hand firmly, keeping him by his side.

"So," Connor stood up straight, lifted his chin, "Today's been great, and you all seem to have had fun, but I don't think it should continue in to the future. We should spend time with whoever we like," he smiled up at Kevin, "Whenever we like, and in as large groups as we want. So instead I'm just going to ease up on rule 72. I know we all love our mission companions, so we'll have no trouble sticking together. But if you want to, y'know, play a game of soccer in the yard, watch a film-" He looked directly at Arnold, "Go into the village when your companion doesn't, then don't worry. It's not an issue."

It was quiet as the elders nodded, pleased with the new rule. Then Arnold yelled, "You just made us do that so you could get with Kevin!" He jumped up on the sofa. "My best friend has a boyfriend! Yeah!"

Once again there was uproar. Kevin leaned in and kissed Connor on the cheek, offering a moment of tranquility among the chaos. "I have a boyfriend," he whispered. Connor beamed. He could hear about everyone's day over dinner later. For now he was going to slip away with his boyfriend, for what he hoped was a proper first kiss moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, yeah, ik his first name isn't Neeley but I don't think he has a headcanon first name so I just left it as that. If he does then just tell me :)
> 
> Tumblr: everyonewholovesmehasdied 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
